dream job

First, one more thing I learned earlier. I just happened to learn it after my previous post.

11. Baconated cheeseburgers are yum-diddly-umptious until you think you're about to have a heart attack. Then you remember that everything you eat is made from soy, and so you have some baconated cheese dogs. mmmm (would-be) fattening.


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Now on to the real biz:

I've discovered my dream job. I complain about my current boring office monkey job so much, I am oft-asked what my ideal job is. "Writer" is a good answer, except for the "not getting paid" thing. So I've realized the next best thing.

Mother.

I don't have to leave the house if I don't want to. I can be sure to do my normal chores (dishes and cat box). Sure, I have to wake up at all hours, but I can also sneak in a few naps. During my few spare moments, I can catch up on my beading, reading, and changing diapers.

Now before all you mommies jump in and tell me how much work it is and whatnot, I know all that. I watched my mom do it all with my brother, not to mention the nieces, nephews, cousins, friends, and every other relation you can think of. I'm not some naive teenybopper that would like a baby because I'm bored. I'm a 25 year-old woman, whose biological clock may mor may not be writing this blog.

Now I just need to land me a husband. I have someone in mind, and he loves kids. He just doesn't want to father them. Or get married. And frankly, I'm in no position to be a single mother. What with the no money and all. So I will continue getting an anti-baby shot every few months until a year* before I can actually have a baby. Or babies - I'm hoping for twins. And yes, that will cut down on that free time I mentioned significantly.

And if I were to take this dream job now, I would have to put off my schooling for a while, lucky to go back. So my plan is this: Work the monkey job until next summer. Take some time off. Go back to school in the fall. Do that for a few years until I have the much-coveted PhD. Mother. Go back and do that literature professor thing. Raise wonderful and smart children. After that, I haven't put much thought into it.


*Yay for hormone shots that stay in my system for a long long time!