I love this weekend. I don't really care about the 4th of July. I care that I don't haveto go to work for 4 days. Fun must be had.
Friday night we did some bar-hopping. Nothing too exciting or out of the ordinary. En route from bar to bar to bar to bar to bar to bar, we stopped in a sex shop for some reason. This particular sex shop is "classier" than most, if a sex shop can ever be called classy. The windows are curtained so no one can see that you're in there. The paper bags are nondescript, saying only the name of the store. There are no gaudy costume displays in the windows.
Our party consisted of a straight guy, 2 straight chicks, a gay guy and a lesbian (as evidenced by her giant "DYKE" pin). Upon entering the store, the party broke up into 2 groups, boys and girls, with the gay girl alternating between the 2. We observed most of the store. There were several things that I didn't understand, but I figure the people who use them DO understand, so it's ok. Included in this group were toys that were not big strong dildos - they were small, soft, limp penuses (peni). I don't have any use for that. I can find a small, limp penus anywhere. *chuckle, chuckle*
The other straight girl and I were more interested in a fascinating thing called the Rabbit Habit. Apparantly it was made popular by Sex And The City. I won't go into a full description, but one part does have a little rabbit face, and another has a smiley face that looks like Ms. Butterworth's syrup. These are kind of creepy, but I guess you don't see either face when you are using said device. While we were inspecting this and other rabbit-related toys, the lesbian walks by to let us know that she is leaving & will meet up with us later. Why? She was yelled at and asked to leave the store. This confuses us, so we go find the boys. They explain that she was making quite a scene over the aforementioned limp peni. The saleslady explained their purpose, my friend freaked out ("Why would anyone even want that???"), and the saleslady asked her to try & be more sensitive to other groups. My friend got embarrassed and left. That sounds a little more plausible than my friend's story.
The rest of us decided to leave as well, but that friend was already long gone. So we continued our bar hopping adventure, walking around the city for extended lengths of time, trying to find at least one place that no longer exists. We ended our night at a dance club that was too crowded in the bar area, but just right on the dance floor. It was backwards, but nobody got killed by me so it was acceptable. Hunger sets in, we leave, fail to find non-pizza food, and go home. I fall right asleep because it is after 3am.
We already have plans to go to the Jamaica Bay Wildlife Refuge the next day, so this involves getting up earlier than we wanted to and after a "quick" stop at the store to buy snacks, we are on the train for a while. We have to walk through a nice little coastal village (we are still technically in NYC, mind you) to get there. Once there, we drink some water and reapply sunblock. Here is the part that makes me mad. Apparantly my second application of the day didn't work at all. My beautiful porcelain shoulders are ruined by the sun. I ALWAYS wear sunblock, specifically to avoid this. I am assured that it's not so bad, it probably won't even peel, but I am very upset and red.
Other than that, we had fun times. We saw lots of birds and turtles and plants and bugs and old people. We stayed for a while but eventually got back on the long train ride home. En route, we somehow decided we needed Legos. Where should we buy Legos? Why, Toys R Us in Times Square, of course! So after a mediocre diner meal, we set off. I hate Times Square. It is more full of people that most places in the world, and they are all tourists, idiots, or both. But we machete our way through the throngs of people taking pictures of everything in the world and get to the store.
Upon entering, some guy tries to make us pose for a souvenir photo like we're at Disneyland or something. We want none of this. I "politely" explain why I don't need photographic evidence of my visit to Times Square Toys R Us, and if I ever do need it, I can be here in half an hour. He keeps dogging us, so I kick him in the shins and we continue on our merry way. There are 3 floors of toys here; it's pretty big. They have a section for every type of toy you could think of, and subdivisions for specific things like Bratz and Superheroes and Legos. We navigate under an animitronic dinosaur to find what we have come for: a giant bucket of Legos for $20. We do a bit more wandering and leave to go play with our new purchase.
Home. Legos. Board games. Pizza. What a fucking awesome day.
The Future of Orion
1 day ago
7 comments:
So this is what I'm abandoned for? I get it. I think I would enjoy some lego building myself.
Umm like how you linked to the order page for the bunny vibrator/dildo. I've never had a toy like this and it looks like fun..thinking..maybe $88 is worth it..lol
They were gray!! I mean come on!!
The saleslady informed me that "a lot of people use them for gender play." In other words, she accused me of lesbophobia. I'm sorry, but no lesbian would buy a $100 gray dildo. They're definitely for log cabin republican men, who do not deserve my sensitivity.
That sounds like a cool day spent.
I want to get me one o' them rabbits; it's on my wish list anyway.
yeah that rabbit seems pretty cool...
glenna - not only were they expensive, they were limp and small. I mean *come on*
gr- techinically this was friday & saturday. "someone" had a date.
Limp and small sounds all too familiar at this point...snif.
Mr. Stapler stayed at the Times Square Hilton on Thurs...he said it was nice but he was only there about 6 hours.
Times Square is an evil hellhole to be avoided at all costs. On the other hand, that sex shop sounds cool. Was it Babes in Toyland or whatever their new name is? (Toyland, I think..) That place is good stuff.
Yeah, Babeland. Or Toys in Babeland.
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