An open letter to the weather

Dear weather,

You suck! I look outside my window this morning and see lots of ugly gray clouds. The kind that are not caused by living in a big city. But it is still close to 90 degrees outside. Then, towards the end of the workday, thunder starts rolling in. I think "ah, the rain will at least relieve some of the humidity to make this heat tolerable." But it never actually rains - just thunder. So it is completely miserable both inside and out. It makes my day a little more unpleasant. There is very little I can do to alleviate my suffering that does not involve venturing back out into the unhappiness mentioned above.

As such, I feel that you owe me. There have been many days in the past that I had planned an activity and you have done exactly the opposite of what the Weather Channel has predicted. It is worthless to deny it. I have many witnesses willing to attest to this fact. This, along with your current behavior, must be stopped. It will be easier for everyone involved if you give in to my demands and cooperate.

If you continue your current trend of behavior, I will be forced to bring legal action. I feel compelled to mention that I have several lawyer friends who are willing to take on my case. If, however, you wish to comply with my demands - and I believe I speak for everyone - then simply change your behavior to something more pleasant immediately.

Thank you for your time.

Love,
des