nonconsciousness

I can't even concentrate. I feel like I'm in a dream. Never ending.

I haven't been able to see all day. I should put my glasses on, but staring at the computer screen will just make the glasses more ineffective. It adds to the dream.

I have been at work 5 hours, but this morning feels like an eternity ago. I have always been at my desk, holed away in the corner, not talking to anyone. I feel like I'm dead and this is Pergutory. Never changing, never ending. No happiness, no sadness. I just want to go home.

Sleep. Sleep would be good. It's hot in my house, even with the AC on. The air is heavy outside. I have a lot of things on my mind. I couldn't actually sleep. But I am here, feigning awakeness. Going through the motions of my day that don't mean anything. Watching the clock snail by so I can go to lunch. Then back to work. Then the hot train. Then home. Escape 2 days. Begin again.

I need to sit under a tree. It has been too long. Sit and read on the grass. No responsibilities. No pressure. Never ending.