Q & A

Question:
What would happen if you hated your doctor, but you had no choice but to go see him every 3 months? Not only do you have to see him once, you have to get blood drawn, come back for the test results, get a prescription, find out he wrote the prescription for the wrong thing, and so have to see him a total of 4 times for what should be a simple procedure: a shot.

Answer:
You go once, get the prescription, schedule your other appointments that you have to miss work for, and go to the pharmacy. You use your vast pharmacy knowledge to convince the pharmacist to fill the prescription for the correct thing even though your doctor is clearly an idiot. While waiting, you realize the following: you have new insurance starting in 2 weeks, and so will never have to see this doctor or that office again. You've given the shot to yourself before. You know you don't need the blood tests. With all this in mind, you resolve to cancel your appointments and never go back.

Question:
What about the shot?

Answer:
Since you've concluded that you hate your doctor more than you hate needles, you can handle the shot. However, when you try to administer it to yourself, you realize that your needle thing is still an issue. A very strong issue. So you might start to cry because you can't give yourself a shot. Not that you feel helpless and stupid, you just don't like needles.

Question:
But don't you need that medicine? Wouldn't you like to avoid the consequences that come with missing it?

Answer:
Yes, very much so. Seeing that you can not, either physically or psychologically, give yourself an intra-muscular shot (read: very large needle), your boyfriend will turn into Brave Sir Robin and help you.

Question:
Isn't your boyfriend a law student and not a medical student?

Answer:
Yes, but he too knows the consequences of not having the shot. He loves you enough that he would rather stab you with a large needle than see you get so sick you wish you were dead. So he reads up on the proper way to administer said shot, and when you're ready, he sets off to do it.

Question:
Aren't you still scared?

Answer:
Yes. Yes you are. But what must be done must be done. He does it very well and it doesn't hurt. However, your needle thing is still acting up, so you feel very very lightheaded. You warn him you are going to pass out, and the next thing you remember, you are on the floor and you have just hit your head on the toilet. Luckily, your boyfriend caught you and you only hit your head a little bit, and it doesn't hurt. You are even paler than usual so you make your way to the bed to regain your composure.

Question:
So are you done forever?

Answer:
Unfortunately, no. But hopefully next time you have to go through this, you will once again be in the hands of a competent doctor, and neither you nor your boyfriend will have to do the actual "shooting" again. Of course, you will always miss your old doctor because he was the best doctor ever (EVER!) for more reasons than you care to list right now. But certain of your friends know to whom you refer and why.

Question:
How do you feel today?

Answer:
You feel fine, though even thinking about that wonderful several-inches-long needle makes you feel very ill again, so you should stop writing now because you don't want to pass out at work because your boss is gone and everyone else is an idiot.

You'll forgive me if I don't include an illustration.