Better living through others

**Editor's note - even though this story is told in the first person point of view, des is not the one the story is based on. Since des wasn't there, some of this story is a little fantasy.

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I met a great guy. It was a blind date, arranged through my mom's best friend (my "second mom"). We were both nervous during dinner, but conversation came easily. We were getting along so well, we went back to his apartment for a while to get to know each other better. He hadn't expected this, so he hadn't hidden away his piles of comic books, as he usually does on dates. He had had too many experiences where a great girl discovered his collection and fled from the scene, never to be heard from again. He really seemed to like me, so this was a great worry for him.

On discovering his vast assortment of X-Men, however, I was elated. Finally someone who likes comics as much as me, and isn't a giant nerd! (Granted he is a math professor, but he doesn't play D&D.) That was the clencher; I knew I'd be sticking around a while.

We hung out more & more, finding more and more things we had in common. Everything was great. I met his family, and he mine. Everyone had a great time. He asked me to move in. As I had recently relocated back with my parents, this was a great way out. I could pile all my stuff into his house (read: NOT apartment!) and have my own room if I wanted it. Of course I didn't want it. He would even have me live there rent-free, but I insisted on paying some rent.

As things progressed, we began to speak of marriage. Even though we had known each other only a short time, I knew this was right. Nobody had ever made me feel this way, and there wasn't a flaw to be found. I really wanted my best friend to meet him and give the final seal of approval, but she had deserted me for her own boy in New York. I was able to save up for a trip to visit her, and couldn't stop talking about my new love. I tried to control myself, but she seemed genuinely interested. She was supportive and really happy for me that I had found a perfect match. When we were very drunk once after karoke, she even called him & gave him the Official Best Friend Chat. She doesn't quite remember the details, but she assured him that bad things would happen to him if he ever hurt me. He, in turn, assured her that he would never hurt me because he loves me with all his heart. des gave the Best Friend Seal of Approval and hugged me for my happiness.

More time passed, and the talk of marriage became more serious. My one drawback was that I couldn't get married without my best friend there. I knew that money was a little tight for her, and she might not be able to fly out here for my wedding. I expressed my fears to Jason and to my family, and vowed not to get married until des could definitely be there. One day, my mom asked me what I wanted for a wedding present. My head filled with thoughts of practical things like china and housewares, and less practical things like action figures and DVDs. When I didn't answer right away (and I don't think she expected me to), she jumped in with her proposal. "How about I pay to have des & Craig flown out for your wedding?" That was the best idea I had ever heard. des would have no excuse to miss my wedding now (not that she would have missed it anyway). She had a plane ticket, she could stay with me, and her boyfriend would be here too. I hugged my mom and thanked her with tears in my eyes.

The next day on my way to work I called des. It was 8am CA time, but it was 11am NY time, and des is always home that early on Saturdays. I got right to the point and explained what my mom had said. des was really excited, but she said no at first. She said it wasn't fair because I don't get to keep that, like I would silverware or a turkey roaster. I explained that I could in fact keep it, as I wasn't having a wedding without her there. All that matters to me is that my best friend stands beside me on the day of my marriage. She sobbed out of happiness and felt incredibly loved. Then I sprung my next question. I was a little nervous, though I was sure what the answer would be. Would she be my maid of honor? She cordially accepted, and we both cried more tears that only this level of love and friendship could bring.

I continued on my way to work, but my mind wandered all day. When work was over (it had flown by!), I went to meet Jason. He had come down to Berkeley to meet me after work, and we walked around the UCB campus for a while. Again, the topic of marriage came up. He apologized that he couldn't buy me a ring until after the school year began again and he got paid. I told him I didn't need a ring, and I was so happy already. We walked on in silence until he suddenly dropped from beside me. It took me a second to realize it and turn around, but when I did, he was already on bended knee with a ring held in the air. "Will you marry me?" I had to concentrate really hard not to cry, but of course I choked out a yes. To me, it had really not been a question of "will," only "when."

We went out to dinner to celebrate our official engagement. I had to contain myself from showing off my new diamond to everyone I saw, including the waiter. The glasses of wine did nothing to restrain me. I reasoned out in my head that des needed to see my sparkly new accessory, and the only way to do that right now was via camera phone. des, however, does not have a camera phone. I'd have to send the picture to Craig and assume she'll get it. I tried drunkenly to take several pictures of my ring until realizing that it was not going to work. So I sent a text message to Craig instead. "Oh my god, I got a ring! Tell des!" The response I got back was from des, telling me that I could tell her these things directly. And I remembered that I was only using Craig for his camera phone; if there was no picture, I didn't need him as a middle man. So des & I texted each other back & forth for a few minutes like two giddy schoolgirls. I was so happy. My fionce was by my side, and I was chatting with des as if she was also by my side and not 3000 miles away. At some point she told me to call her the next day so that we could speak in person. I did, and told her of my adventures the previous night.

The wedding is being planned for some time in April, when Jason has Spring Break. I'm a little upset that my maid of honor won't be there to help me plan. I don't know anything about planning a wedding! But des told me that when she and Craig come out in November (for another wedding) she will take some extra time off work, which I know will just tear her up inside, and come do some psuedo-planning with me. We can go dress shopping. We can go cake tasting. Most importantly, she can meet my future husband, and finally give the thumbs up in person.

Now I finally understand so many of the important things in life.