2 ways my sister ruined my life

sorry deidra, but you traumatized me as a child.

when i was 5 years old we went to disneyland. we were waiting in line for the matterhorn, which loomed over us the entire day. when we finally got close enough, we could hear a monster roaring inside. this freaked me out a little, but i was prepared to go on. my sister noticed my hesitance and played on it, telling me that the monster ate 5 year old blonde girls named desiree. being a 5 year old blonde girl named desiree, i was understandably scared out of my head. so scared, in fact, that i hid under the seat throughout the entire duration of the ride. to this day, i've never seen the inside if that ride.

when i was a few years older (i don't remember exactly how old) my sister was in charge of me while my parents were gone. they said they'd be home at a certain time, and they weren't. i knew something was amiss, but i kept trudging along doing whatever i was doing. then the phone rang. i now know it was my parents calling to explain why they were late. but my sister answered the phone of course. she told me my mom was dead. i don't remember the details, just that one important point. more hours went by, until my parents' car rolled up the driveway. when my mom got out of the car (very alive) i ran to hear screaming and crying that deidra had told me she was dead. turns out the car had died. while getting a jump start, the car had rolled off of its wedge and smashed my mom's leg between the two cars. they had called from the hospital. my mom explained all this, and added that she did have a broken leg, but was otherwise fine. it might just be hopeful imagination, but i think my sister actually got into trouble for that one.

so now you see why i am the person i am today. and for the record, i can only remember one instance when i did anything like this to my younger brother. i told him the bubbles in the shower drain were monsters' eyes, looking for their next victim. he'll probably tell you differently, but i don't think this traumatized him quite the way that thinking his mom had been killed would.